The replacement pen is dead... already. Can you believe it? Now I must go to the store in hopes of reviving it.

I was abruptly halted from doing my school work when the pen I had been using ran out of ink. I admit, I knew it was going to happen. In fact, I have been monitoring the pen's steady loss of life for no shorter than a week. In anticipation of the inevitable emptiness my pen would face, I found another pen suitable for preforming the first pen's job. It is laying on my desk, waiting to fill its post. Still, I found it necessary to note an event so uniquely mundane.

I am proud of having completely drained this pen. In less than one semester, it has fulfilled its life purpose. Pens may not have political affiliation but, this one died in the midst of underlining the greatest appeal of Marxism-Leninism to the Chinese people (it's appearance as a "sweeping systematic solution"). Although pens do not, as far as any intellectually accepted logic could deem, have thought, they serve to help us express and preserve our thoughts. I am proud to have used this pen primarily to further my understanding of Modern China. It has fulfilled its life purpose unlike so many, which lay forgotten in the bottom of backpacks, drawers, and desks.

While I am glad to have used this pen so thoroughly, I cannot help but bemoan its death. I now have an empty pen, which will soon be thrown away and forgotten. I can be happy that it has fulfilled its life purpose, but I wonder what will happen to it in death? I assume its empty shell will find its way to a landfill where it will VERY slowly decay. The pen positioned to replace this one has the potential to be refilled. When it runs out of ink, which it will shortly, given it is currently rather low on life as well, I will be able to revive it. The PILOT G-2 07 will become my Jesus pen. Alas, there is no more hope for my late uni-ball Signo Gelstick 0.7. It shall never live again...

My uni-ball Signo Gelstick 0.7 served its owner well. It is survived by all 7 of its siblings. They are (in order of least ink left to most): Purple, Black, Light Blue, Green, Orange, Pink, and Red. May your lifeless shell find a suitable resting place, Blue!

This is how it works: Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along. If you want me to do any other letters, be sure to suggest!

Lifeisfickle gave me Q... a long ass time ago. (Does "long ass" make any sense?)...

Quintessential
Q-tip
Questionair
Quotable
Qualitive
Quantitive
Quackish
Qualifier
Quip
Quinsy

A dark dot with veined wings
greets my windshield
and I think.
an accidental wound to my line of sight?

A second and thrid obstruct
with the same folly
and my mind focuses some.
arrogance? not in such numbers.

Two and three more
means five and six
lives spot my view with
the genisis of a shape.

The guts are clearer and
the road fuses into the background
I search for a profound meaning.
what image is it and what could it mean for me?

But my car is slowing
and I find myself parking.
expectations dismiss the splattered life
Now unimportant in the presence of my destination.

I am officially the proud new owner of a 30GB video ipod.

Boo Freckin' Ya!!!

Well, that's one more final down. Now I just have to present for Analyzing Lit and turn in my portfolio for Creative Writing. Then, here I come Kansas...

So, on my way to crash course studying for my final, I got a call from iHop. I am going to an orientation thing Wednesday. Does that mean they're not interviewing me? Who knows... anyway, I have to be in black shoes, black socks, black pants, a white button up (or down) shirt, and a tie...

I think this means I got the job. There wouldn't exactly be a strict dress code for an interview right?

I don't know but it kind of came as a shock. I was getting used to the idea of looking for a different job because I hadn't gotten a call and they said they'd call later that week... Crazyness... Being able to work in Brighton would be such a plus though.

Anyway, I can feel sweet release on the way...

Huh zah???

Carla Kay

QOTD: So my highschool friends? What will you be doing after this summer?

Time time time...

I can't believe it. I absolutely can't believe it. I have to go to school Friday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and then I am on to finals... Crazy happy. But busy. I have two papers to write and a bunch of stuff I'm not going to list because it's boring.

4 more days of school for me... :)

In 2 weeks I'll be back in Ottawa...

Oh, and my lovely sister should be getting an engagement ring with in the next week and a half so that makes everything with her official.

I feel kind of dirty but I am stoaked for her to be out of the house. It'll be the first time I've ever really had my own room. Completely my own and I get the entire basement. I am going to strip the walls of their paint and do a mural of sorts, I think I'll move my bed into the small room and set up Jenny's bed as a couch opposite of the tv and x-box, Bryan and I are talking about getting a pool table too. I just want to start working on it now...

I just cant stay out of weddings either... Last summer I was a bridesmaide twice. This summer I am going to be Jessica's Maid of Honor. I am excited for her. I promise it's not all about the room.

Crazy happy and deciding that I should do some work,
Carla Kay

QOTD: If you could transform into any animal at your whim, what animal would you choose to become?

I think I agree with Bryan. It's about time I get a new icon and do new back ground stuff, even change my info...

This has been
"Another pointless update with Carla"
Thank you and see you next time.

I have gotten into a rut of some sort and it is bothering me.

I guess I am all about getting out of school for the semester right now. I want to bust this rut but I don't think I can quite yet. You see, I keep thinking that I need to do some things differently but then I realize that some... most all of it requires some form of cash and frankly I don't have any of that. I am still not sure if I'll be able to work at WP or not this summer. I really want to and then, I really don't. Working at WP will probably just be more reason for me to get into a rut. You know, that whole 40 hour job thing. But the money sure would be nice. I got on high risk insurance due to a speeding ticket I recently recieved. (I didn't even think I was speeding. Turns out my speedometer is off by at very very least 5 mph. Not cool.) So, every month I am going $100 deeper in debt to my parents not to mention gas is now $2.73 a gallon. Two years ago we were afraid of it hitting $2? Anyway, I'm not on here to write about money. It's not my favorite subject...

So, I only have 2 weeks left of normal school and then I have my finals... Hurray! But it also means a lot of work... boo...

Last night Bryan and I went to a poetry slam and it was totally awesome. Paula, you would adore going to a slam. Actually, maybe we could set that up... I have to go to one more reading for my Creative writing class...

Anyway, I need to bust out of the norm. I find myself constantly repeating the same phrases over and over and I am not being nearly as active as I should be.

So, I guess that's it for now.

oh and the wonderful and almighty

QOTD: If you could identify any smell under any mask and from long distances too, what would it be and why?

Carla Kay

i am about 39 cents above the half way mark for my ipod... love will be coming soon. Plus my mom is going to pay me to wash the windows outside, and she hinted at some money for Easter... Man, I feel so little kid ish. I mean when was the last time your mommy offered to pay you to do some house work for her? But hey, I am thrilled about getting this ipod and I don't exactly have a job right now. I am hoping/planning on working full time at WP again this summer and that would be totally awesome. More chance for me to get some books read plus, listen to music, plus earn lots of money for college and other things... Anyway, I am just excited... I will get an ipod. It will be mine!

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 0.05

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

Okay, so I should be doing math right now but, I'll do it in a bit. Jessica officially loves me. She was looking at my Comeleon skirt (an awesome awesome thing) and decided she had some extra money in her account after tax returns and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with it. So, she decided she'd get one of these uber cool skirts (sorta skirts). It's so much cooler than that though. She called me in the middle of Analyzing Literature to tell me her proposition. She would write me a check for $100 and I would order her a skirt. I get to keep the change for my ipod. So amazingly awesome. I'm stoked... The fabric/skirt costs about $60, shipping will probably be about $10... That means that I have another $30 for my ipod... out of no where... I'm thrilled. I want the 4 G Nano... I'm not sure on the color yet but I decided that I would save all of my spare change and such until I had the $250 it will cost. It's a very long term thing because I don't have a job right now. That means that money is hard to come by. Anyway, I have about $50 in there right now. Another $30 and I'll be so much closer. I decided that I was going to have a lot of fun with this so, I drew an ipod, complete with the song it's playing, and I pinned it up on my wall just above where I am keeping my money for it. I figured it would be fun to do a count down sort of thing, something visual so I can see how close I am to my ipod dream land so, it's set up kind of like a meter. Originally, my ipod was completely white but as I get more money, I fill it in with black marker respective to how much money I added. Right now, it's past the 1/8th mark and almost at the 1/4th mark. Soon though, I'll have another $30 to be added to my ipod madness. Such excitement, such excitement... I love you Jessica, thank you so much.

QOTD: If you made a paper ipod, what song would be permanently playing on it?

First and formost, today is very special because at 12:03 the time and date will count 123456. But don't worry too much. If you miss that one, 1:23 should be just about as exciting... If you miss that, you're screwed... sorry.

Moving on...

I was sitting in the back of a car with a girl I'd just met that day, she was my suitemate and she had invited me out to a party. I thought she knew the guys we were going with but I found out later that she'd known them about as long as me. The rap is blaring and Misha, that's my suite mate, looked over at me a bit concerned. I had been thinking about something and the expression linked with that always goes hand in hand with people asking about my mood or well being. So, Misha looks over and she says, "You straigh?" I looked at her a bit confused and ask "Huh?" She says, "You stright?" and I say, "What?" We go through the motion one more time until Misha busts up laughing when she realizes I haven't got a clue what "straight" means. Quickly she explains that straight mean alright, cool and she asks me once again, "You straight?" I can finally respond, "Yeah!"

So, today I learned about AAVE(African American Vernacular English), AAE(African American English), or Eubonics. We've been discussing different dialects but today was the day our teacher decided to inform us about how AAVE was not a creol or a dialect but another language. Now, I understand the importance of teaching school kids the difference between Ebonics and what is generally known as Standard American English. In fact, I think it's a great idea to bring the use of Ebonics into the classroom... whatever allows the kids equal opportunities in later life. But can we really call AAVE a different language? Yes, I had issues understanding Misha but she wasn't speaking French... It's a matter of slang and not knowing the different words used. Sure there's a small grammatical change from "Are you straight?" to "You straight?" but who ever said that slang couldn't envoke grammatical changes as well? Oi vey. We watched a video on it and I just sat there trying to figure out how GB would respond to it... Oi vey...

Wedding

Late night Nevada
Love plagues couples

Tuberculosis blocks lungs
Asphyxiated euphoria emanates

Black becomes onyx
Life becomes simple

Fast food vows
Cheapen marriage’s institution

Hungry sexual desires
Fill hotels everywhere

Morning light brings
Realizations of reality

Mad lib poetry

 

Alfalfa and Barley grew

wildly in the preface of my youth,

conflicting over the field’s capacity.

 

I wandered aimlessly

Motivated only by the flow of lameness

surrounding the image of my life.

 

An unnoticed submarine

Fighting not to sink

Into the awesome great blue.

 

The image has hardly changed.

A mere corpuscle to the body.

A freckle hidden between layers of skin.

 

Ghosts of my past graduate

Reminding me with integrity

I am only one of a great percentage

 

But one intense vivacious penguin

can set the world off its axis.

You prefer guerrilla style.
Planting bombs, hiding weapons
Ruthlessly attacking enemies at their tenderest weaknesses.
You fight to win.
You fight for self-preservation.

Self-preservation is key but
no one can be the soul survivor.

I think
logic, structure, cooperation
You think
pain, space, safety
I think
strength, justice, mutual survival
You think
solitude, destruction, weakness

What about peace? I asked. What about
a treaty? Then what happens with the bombs
you've haphazardly buried?
Your reply?

Peace was never your objective.
I was shocked.

You think
guns, shells, missiles
I think
letters, phone calls, patience
You think
determination, destruction, self-preservation
I think
perserverence, preservation, unity

What relations can two have if one is interested in war and the other in peace?
This is an impasse equal to the cold war.

Life is kind of crazy right now. I don't exactly know what's going on with everything but I guess it will all work out.

I swear I'm at least a little bit happy some where in here.

Carla Kay

QOTD: Do you have any crazy weather driving stories?

Suprise suprise, I'm still alive...

I am kind of upset by how few hours I'm taking. I was thinking about next semester in Language in US Society and how I was only 2 credits away from being a Sophmore. So, I thought, if I take a 18 hour load, I'll be up to Junior status in one semester but no. That's not the case. If I want to be (at bare minimum) a junior after one more semester, I have to take 19 hours because I'm only taking 12 this semester. Oh new thought, If I could get the money, I would be able to take a course over the summer... something I needed, maybe in the evenings so I could still work 40 hours... hmm... I don't know if I'll have the money though... Anyway, I have this huge break and I think it'd be time well spent in another class.

I want to find a counselor I can talk to. Currently I have an advisor but she's the English advisor and I want to talk to someone about other options for my major (I want to double major) including linguistics, political science, and nutrition type fields. Not to mention I want to take an ass load of foreign language. I figure that if they're not keen on letting me take 2 foreign languages at the same time, they'll have to let me take ASL and German because it's not like I'll be able to mix up signs and words... Could be a lot of fun. Plus, I have to take in my syllabus from Biology at Ottawa so they can decided if it counts as Bio I or Bio II here. Also, I want to see if there is any way I can work out a semester abroad or something. Maybe 2nd half of Junior year or over a summer or something. It would be totally awesome. Who knows.

I figure that I'll remain at my parents house for the next year at least. If I get later classes, taking the bus wont be so absurde. I mean, I'd have to wake up at 4:45 or so to make it on the bus to CU every morning right now. But, that's with an 8:00 class. A later class would mean a later bus... If I'm used to waking up at 5:30 right now to make it to school, taking the bus couldn't be anyworse as long as it's not for an 8:00 class. I mean a 10:00 class would be heaven. If I lived at my house I wouldn't have to worry about food and board at all. Furthermore, my parents are more likely to pitch in on things like clothing if I'm still living with them. If I do that, I will minimize the debt I'll inevitably end up in from college. I can use my summer job for my current schooling as well as for smaller luxuries like maybe a trip to Ottawa, saving for that semester abroad or simple things like nicer clothing and electronics (Ipods, digital cameras, games, cell phone). I don't know but it sounds like an alright idea.

Anyway, plans for a nice future are hatching. I want to be able to live well and I really want to be able to travel.

Leaving it there for now,
Carla Kay


QOTD: Write a flash story (only lup to 150 words) involving a character named Yann and another named Urma. Urma is young, attractive plummer and Yann is a hairstylist. (so, it's more of a challenge than a question... who cares)